Litanies of the Faithful

Let’s face it, we all have some level of trust issues. For some, it’s not trusting their partners when they go out on the town due to past experiences of infidelity, for others, it’s adding out of date milk to their coffee multiple times in a 2-week period, accidentally ingesting some and spending the next two hours dry heaving – not speaking from experience or anything…

However, for the Adeptus Mechanicus, a secretive, hierarchical, and techno-religious culture, trust issues run rampant. The Mechanicus thrive on suspicious, competition and withheld knowledge, so today we will be ranking each unit within the Adeptus Mechanicus by their levels of insecurity.

S+ tier – trust level 0%:

• Tech-Priest Enginseer
• Sicarian Infiltrators
• Skitarii Vanguard
• Pteraxii Sterylizors
• Kataphron Destroyers

These units trust no one, not even themselves. I don’t think I’ll need to elaborate much here. Sicarian Infiltrators? Like what are you infiltrating bro, have some trust, there’s nothing in no-mans-land, just deploy in the deployment zone. Kataphron ‘Destroyers’, yeah right, you aren’t destroying anything, relax.

A tier – trust level 10%:

• Tech-Priest Manipulus
• Serberys Sulphurhounds
• Serberys Raiders
• Onager Dunecrawler

These units assume betrayal of their fellow techno-allies. Have you ever met a Serberys Raider? Oh, I can’t travel on foot, I need my horsie, I don’t trust my wittle Skitarii legs, disgusting.

B tier – trust level 25%:

• Skorpius Disintegrator
• Skorpius Dunerider
• Skitarii Rangers
• Sydonian Dragoon

Some level of trust but still need to wear a trench coat due to their body dysmorphia.

C tier – trust level 50%:

• Belisarius Cawl
• Cybernetica Datasmith
• Sicarian Ruststalkers
• Ironstrider Ballistari
• Pteraxii Skystalkers
• Kataphron Breachers

I like Ruststalkers.

F tier – trust level 85%:

• Kastelan Robots
• Archaeopter (all variants)
• Tech-Priest Dominus
• Fulgurite Electro-Priests
• Corpuscarii Electro-Priests

Katelan Robots, the kings of the battlefield. They doesn’t afraid of anything and are entirely secure with their girlfriend going out for a night on the town. None of these units have trust issues, and it shows.

This got weird, and I can’t be bothered finishing it.

Cya nerds.